Okay, trials and tribulations come into our lives. Some say they are to help us become stronger; others say that without the valleys we would never appreciate the hills...
For whatever reason God has to give this trial to my daughter and to my family, I don't know, but it sucks....
My one and only son in law, Joshua Russell Fulghum, Sr passed away last week, March 27, 2014 in a horrible work related accident. The death they say was immediate, however, without talking to the eye witnesses (the two workers who were with Josh at the time of the accident) to be sure. Only my imagination is running rampant. Every time my eyes close, I see different scenerios in my minds eye... and I dream in color; vivid color. My medical background also offers different injuries and different outcomes of the accident. Granted, my daughter is suffering much worse than I... in fact, I cannot imagine the horrors she sees in her minds eye when she closes her eyes at night. She doesn't sleep much, she doesn't take anything to help her either... she is a nursing mother of a 4 month old little man. I thought I was doing "okay", then I spoke with someone the other day...
I was at my daughter's home, watching little man Henry... Ana had taken the other two children (Charity 7 and Joshua II 5) to school, then she went to the cemetery to spend some time with her husband...
The man who does some of the home repairs for her landlord stopped by, we had a conversation; he needed to talk, to tell someone who would understand the things he needed to tell... I am blessed and privileged that he chose to share this with me...
He said he was here with Ana working on the apartment when she got that fateful call that day; when the plant that Josh worked in told her that the love of her life was never coming home... he had been the fatality at their facility and had not survived, he had died. He said, she fell to the floor and cried and screamed and he felt helpless... felt unsure of his path that day, why God had allowed him to be here to witness the pain that my daughter was feeling, as if she were the one dying inside... and in fact, she was. She has suffered an amputation of the Rock, the best friend, the soul mate that God had given her nearly 10 years prior...
He said that he didn't know who to call, what to do, how to handle it. He became one of the less than 1% of people in the world who is inadvertantly with someone when they get the earth shattering, life altering, relationship ending call of the sudden death of a spouse. He told me that he went home, laid on his sofa with the TV on, and just thought about his own life... He told me he had been offered a job with a good friend, however, that job would take him away from home for months at a time, and the job had risks to it...
He said that he believes that God told him, "This could be YOUR wife, receiving the news that there had been an accident at a work site... " after looking away, he turned to me and said, "I never ever want my wife to receive a call like that." he continued, "my work is boring and consistent... it pays my bills and I am comfortable in my life, and that is enough."
I have cried often since he shared with me this story. I cry for my baby girl who had to suffer so on that day... who continues to suffer and go through the anguish of learning to live a life as a single mother... a position she never wished for.
My daughter asks me now, "Why do people say they are sorry?? They didn't cause this situation, some didn't even know Josh." How do you answer that?
As we each learn to live the life we have without an integral part of our family, please keep us in your prayers and thoughts...
I will be back soon...
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